Baby Won T Go To Sleep At Night
Making Decisions, Feeling Supported
Feeding at night can be an emotional issue. Some men are happy that their partners feed at night because it means they can sleep; others positively support their partner’s feeding, making sure that she has all she needs to do it well and even sometimes fetching the baby, and if necessary the bottle too. Alistair left notes for Carol to find when she woke and fed Lydia at night:
I’d get up to fetch Lydia from her Moses basket and there’d be a note on the rug saying something really slushy like “good morning to the most beautiful woman and the sweetest baby in the world”. I suppose it allowed him to sleep with a clear conscience, but it was lovely.’
But other men feel resentful of their baby – isolated by the intimacy that a mother and baby share while feeding, and breastfeeding in particular.
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We’ve had Rebecca in the room next to ours since the third day after I got back from the hospital. My husband just couldn’t sleep. He said he didn’t want her in our room when we were in bed because that should be our time together. And he didn’t want me to breastfeed because he just thought it wasn’t right and he wanted me back. So now she’s in her own cot, with the door closed. When she wakes and cries for a feed I go and make a bottle and then feed her in her room, and put her back in her cot. I don’t know. I suppose I’d like her to be a bit closer, but I have to respect his wishes – he is part of the family too.’