But when it comes to talk of long-term girlfriend, British actress Ruth Kearney, and the threats of his on-set chemistry with Shailene Woodley, he remains silent. However if, like me, you dream of one day reeling in a man like James then youâ€™ve got two words to remember; personal identity. â€˜What attracts me to women I guess would be a strong sense of self thatâ€™s motivated by her own opinions, good taste and an ability to laugh at herself.â€™ And, you could conveniently position yourself in some of his favourite hangouts, which include The Albion pub and the French restaurant Little Ivy in North London, Islingtonâ€™s MMA ring, the National Portrait Gallery and Camdenâ€™s iconic live music venue, the Roundhouse. Lusting aside, ifJames offers his fans one thing over and above eye candy and big screen entertainment, itâ€™s his outlook on life. Something of a philosopher, the words that most resonate with me are his opinions on the meaning of success. â€˜I think success is finally having satisfaction and I havenâ€™t reached it even myself. I am still constantly pushing, perhaps when I donâ€™t need to. But I think being able to enjoy the moment is success, really. Not many people manage to do that.â€™
I never wanted my proposal to be a surprise. Iâ€™m a bit of a control freak in that way. We went about our engagement very clear-headedly. We talked a lot about what marriage meant to each of us, and then decided that it was what we wanted to do.
So the day I actually said yes was during a very serious conversation where we both admitted that 30 or 40 years from now we definitely still wanted to be part of one anotherâ€™s lives.
As for the ring, I knew I wanted something antique so we went looking for it together. We found a 1920s-style ring at a market in Woodstock that I loved; yet, he was still insistent that at least one part of it be a surprise – the actual proposal.
It became our joke for a few weeks. Whenever we had a â€˜momentâ€™, it would be like, â€˜is this it, are you proposing?â€™ and he kept on saying, â€˜no, this isnâ€™t it.â€™
One evening, we took a drive and stopped at a spot overlooking Camps Bay, and thatâ€™s when he popped the question. I think Iâ€™d given up on waiting for my lovely ring to be given back to me!