But when it comes to talk of long-term girlfriend, British actress Ruth Kearney, and the threats of his on-set chemistry with Shailene Woodley, he remains silent. However if, like me, you dream of one day reeling in a man like James then you’ve got two words to remember; personal identity. ‘What attracts me to women I guess would be a strong sense of self that’s motivated by her own opinions, good taste and an ability to laugh at herself.’ And, you could conveniently position yourself in some of his favourite hangouts, which include The Albion pub and the French restaurant Little Ivy in North London, Islington’s MMA ring, the National Portrait Gallery and Camden’s iconic live music venue, the Roundhouse. Lusting aside, ifJames offers his fans one thing over and above eye candy and big screen entertainment, it’s his outlook on life. Something of a philosopher, the words that most resonate with me are his opinions on the meaning of success. ‘I think success is finally having satisfaction and I haven’t reached it even myself. I am still constantly pushing, perhaps when I don’t need to. But I think being able to enjoy the moment is success, really. Not many people manage to do that.’
I never wanted my proposal to be a surprise. I’m a bit of a control freak in that way. We went about our engagement very clear-headedly. We talked a lot about what marriage meant to each of us, and then decided that it was what we wanted to do.
So the day I actually said yes was during a very serious conversation where we both admitted that 30 or 40 years from now we definitely still wanted to be part of one another’s lives.
As for the ring, I knew I wanted something antique so we went looking for it together. We found a 1920s-style ring at a market in Woodstock that I loved; yet, he was still insistent that at least one part of it be a surprise – the actual proposal.
It became our joke for a few weeks. Whenever we had a ‘moment’, it would be like, ‘is this it, are you proposing?’ and he kept on saying, ‘no, this isn’t it.’
One evening, we took a drive and stopped at a spot overlooking Camps Bay, and that’s when he popped the question. I think I’d given up on waiting for my lovely ring to be given back to me!