SEPARATE FEELINGS FROM FACT
Just because you feel inadequate doesnt mean you are inadequate, Dr Young points out. Having a huh? moment (or three!) is all part of life. Ifyou dont have these moments often, it means youve stopped learning, she says.
Itll also help ifyou make a habit of seeking evidence to validate your doubts, Cribb adds. Pay attention to the facts, she says. Even if your head is telling you that you are inadequate, what does the evidence around you indicate?
So you didnt complete the half-marathon you set out to run. Instead of feeling shame (a common emotion for those with impostor syndrome), focus on learning where you went wrong so you can improve next time. When you alter your mindset about failure, your confidence will grow hugely, says Dr Young.
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MIND YOUR LANGUAGE
The words you use can have a huge impact. Youll be amazed at how differently you feel simply by changing your usual response from Im so stupid! to I feel so stupid! Dr Young says.
SET A NEW STANDARD
You dont have to work harder than everyone else to prove that youre competent. Realise that not everyone thinks like you and your standards might be overly high, says Cribb. Ask yourself,
If I only did this job at an 80 per cent level, who else would notice except for me?
DEFINE SUCCESS FORYOU
The traditional male model of success is money, power and status. Women have a more layered definition ofsuccess, explains Dr Young, so in situations where these elements are in play (going for a promotion, for example), we wonder,
Can I really handle it? This anxiety can signal a mismatch between the social definition and what matters most to you, so think about how you define success to help ease your fears.