What if IVF doesn’t work pregnancy?
For the majority of couples, IVF will not work first time, as there is an element of trial and error when it comes to finding out how your body reacts to the drugs. It is better to have discussed this with your partner in advance, so that you can build in strategies for getting through the situation. The way you deal with it is to be prepared, to keep your emotional reserves as strong as possible, to communicate constantly with your partner, to communicate with – and expect answers from – the clinic that is treating you, and to control the situation as much as possible, rather than let the situation take control of you.
Allow yourselves to be upset, however, as there is no point in pretending that you are fine about the result. Many couples are devastated at each negative result, and this is perfectly normal. Don’t make any hasty decisions at this stage about whether to continue or abandon future IVF treatment. Make an appointment with your clinic to analyse what may have gone wrong and to try to work out what, if anything, can/should be changed next time.
Even if you decide to stop, you should still make this appointment, if only to get some sort of closure on the entire process and to discuss whether there are any other options available to you. At my clinic, for example, we have a team who specifically offer support and advice when IVF has failed.